
It’s a continuous struggle in our house.
“Did you wash your hands?” after we get home from school, before we eat a snack.
“Did you wash your hands?” after going to the bathroom.
I’ve been slightly and silently joyous over the fact that Red’s second grade teacher informed them of Swine Flu, and even though it hasn’t come to our city, she warned everyone to sneeze and cough into their inner elbow and wash their hands frequently.
For the first time in her eight years, Red washes her hands at all appropriate times.
And then some.
But I noticed at first, she was afraid. I mean, SWINE FLU just does not sound good, right? Even if you have no idea what it means, as an eight year old. The name “SWINE FLU” is just plan something you don’t want to get.
I quelled her fears but reminded her that even if the swine flu wasn’t hopping around the U.S., it was important to wash hands and cover our coughs appropriately.
Over the weeks, I noticed something.
It has gone from good to bad.
She’s actually washing her hands too much.
I am noticing she is washing them more often, even when she hasn’t coughed or gone to the bathroom. Sometimes it is ten minutes after the last time she washed them.
Last night was the last straw.
I was woken up at fucking FOUR a.m. to her standing at my side.
“Mommy. I have to wash my hands.”
I took her downstairs to wash her hands, angry and upset for the fear that she suddenly has instilled in her. In fact, I spoke angrily TO her and I feel like shit because I know she’s scared and I know I am scared that she is scared….a vicious cycle.
That night, I used the opportunity to go to the bathroom, while she washed her hands. As we were leaving the bathroom, she ran back and pumped a shot of liquid soap onto her hands and washed again.
“What did you do that for? You just washed your hands,” I exclaimed.
“I forgot to use soap the first time!” she said.
As we trudged back upstairs to her bed, she was all snuggled back in and I looked at the clock, wondering if I would be able to go back to sleep for a few hours. I pointed my finger at her and said firmly, “YOU MAY NOT EVER DO THAT AGAIN IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT”.
And she hasn’t, thank GOD.
Last night we had a bad episode where she wouldn’t put her clothes away unless she could wash her hands afterwards. And I was like, “the clothes are CLEAN!” And she goes, “FINE I will clean them up but not touching my socks or underwear.” (which had just come out of the laundry.
So you know what I did? To prove a point? I picked up all her underwear and socks and touched them all and then I proceeded to lick my hands. “See? I’m not getting sick!”
She laughed and looked skeptical but interested in the fact that I didn’t drop dead.
I thought I had gotten somewhere, but then, I made the mistake of picking up her lambies.
Note to self: Do not lick hands and then touch Lambies.
She is now thoroughly convinced that I have given her the Swine Flu.
I spoke with her teacher today, curious if she was behaving similarly at school. Fortunately, only two things have changed. Her request for extra doses of hand sanitizer, other than the dedicated “before lunch and snack” times. The teacher said to Red, “Oh no, we only need it before we eat.” And apparently, Red, would accept it and go back to her work.
The other thing was that this morning, they had morning greet time as they usually do in second grade and all the second graders shake each other’s hands. Red kept her hands in her pockets, slipping just under the radar. No one said anything and nor did she, but still, she didn’t take her hands out of her pockets.
I suspect she will get over it.
Her dad and I agreed to not react or even talk about it anymore and if we are in a situation where we can control it, we just say “no, we’re not taking a second bath tonight, you already had one.”
I suspect that AT LEAST when school is out and we are spending out days at the beach and outside, she will get over it and forget about it. I just pray that in the Fall and Winter it doesn’t happen again. I am considering taking her to the pediatrician to have him explain in kid-speak how it all works, and let some higher up authority (because I don’t appear to be good enough) tell her that she will be okay.

Haha, that’s how it generally goes, right?? You pound something into their brains, hoping and praying it will one day sink it, and instead it takes the adverse effect to which you intended.
How frustrating (for you and her); I hope she gets out of the habit this summer. They say it takes 15 days to make something a habit, and 15 days to undo it. So if you have the resolve for two tough weeks, maybe she’ll kick it.
Children are so literal – something coming from a higher authority can’t hurt. Can maybe the teacher who started this undo it with some similar words in the opposite direction?
Wish my 2nd grader had 1/2 of the want to wash his hands.
It’s not nice she’s scared, we never like our kids being scared.
Hopefully she’ll get over it. I think the best strategy is to ignore it. Maybe point out the risk of swine flu doens’t look as bad as it did.
Incidently did you know that kids who pick their nose and eat it tend to get ill less than kids who don’t. It’s all about building up the imune system apparently.
Mmmmm healthy bogies (or boogers over there I guess)
Honestly, I think that she is scared because the news was really screaming about it for a while. And she is probably trying to cope with her fear by repeatedly washing her hands.
I say ignore it. And if she gets worse, take her to the pediatrician.
We’ve been through something similar. After YEARS of not washing his hands appropriately on his own (yes we have the “did you wash your hands” chant at my house), ZBoy has been religiously washing his hands, sometimes for no apparent reason. It is frustrating, but the novelty of that will usually wear off after a while. The Swine Flu got him started again, but he’s backed off since I explained that most of the people who got sick or died already had some underlying condition that left their immune system vulnerable. You NEED germs to keep your immune system functioning properly. I think part of the reason he’s such a healthy kid is because I wasn’t a clean Nazi when he was little. I know other moms who bleached everything in sight and their kids are CONSTANTLY sick!
Swine flu? I got to try telling mine about that.
Poor baby…. to be worried at such a young age. Of course I have my kids using purel alllll the time!!!
Wow girl. Poor thing!
Rent a Howard Hughes biography or something!
Seriously though, some germs are good germs and they help keep away bad germs. They say washing hands too much is not good either. The only way to build a tolerance to germs that make us ill is to actually have them.
Good luck!
I am the opposite of a germaphobe. I worry that peoples’ preoccupation with germs is raising a generation full of OCD kids. All that sanitizer can actually be bad. We all need good bacteria to fight off the bad, and sanitizers kill all of it.
I’m glad you guys are nipping it in the bud.
my ems is very anxious and when we were going through the separation she went through this handwashing phase and like in your case she was obsessively washing to the point her little hands were red and raw.
hard to think as parents that we would say to our kids PLEASE STOP WASHING YOUR HANDS.
she also went through worrying about cleaners, so you couldn’t spray any kind of cleaner in the house without her freaking out. so i did what i would never have imagined i would do with my kid, i sprayed bleach cleaner on my hand and licked it. could you imagine doing that with any other kid?
she came out of it after awhile. we had to talk about it and read books about worrying and stuff, but the pediatrician is a good idea as well.
good luck!
You are right to have a sense that you can model some values/habits here. She’s watching you, for sure.
Plus, and I know I’m waaaaaaaaaay on the other end of the cleanliness continuum, I actually think there are health benefits from NOT being radically clean all the time. No, seriously. I think there’s something to having had exposures.
Maybe you could play that angle on her?
Just a thought…
poor gal…she’s freaked and worried. hopefully it will pass….ocd would not be fun for you or her