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Archive for September 4th, 2007

I’ve been sitting here contemplating this EpiPen thing for Blue. I picked up her prescription this morning and because they are used to going to the pharmacy to get “Mommy’s medicine” (birth control) she didn’t question the huge box that contained two EpiPens AND a “trainer”.

Really.

THANK GOD there is a TRAINER.

It is a replica of the real thing, but without the medicine in it and without the needle thing it comes through.

So I practiced a bit on my leg to see how it works. Pretty easy.

The only thing is, I cringe to imagine the look on her face if she ever has another allergic reaction, when I actually have to STAB her with it. She is, in fact, only 4.

All I have to say is that I know this kind of thing is really common nowadays, allergies to nuts. I am so grateful she can still eat peanut butter. I am grateful there are only 4 nuts she is allergic to in all the nut categories. I mean, they even tested her for coconut. I doubt she would ever want to try coconut, but still, Coconut is in my lemon squares recipe, and she eats that!

I do worry that my fanatical Christian Science ex husband won’t give it to her if she is having an allergic reaction. I mean, PRAY GOD DAMMIT, but GIVE HER THE MEDICINE TOO PLEASE!!!!

Anyway, that’s it.

I have sold 4 paintings this week. To two bloggers. Two others to repeat clients. One in Ohio. One in Colorado. Now I can pay the taxes on my alimony. Yay. Thank YOU.

Yes, I get alimony. Because the judge said so.

I find it funny that when I went through my divorce, I thought I’d be living in a cardboard box with my children…or at best, a basement apartment down by the docks where seagulls eat pigeons. (I’ve seen it with my own eyes). Because the threats from Ex husband made me believe so.

I own my own home now. Provide a safe environment for the children. A lovely lovely place we live…

I was talking to a friend recently who is in a physically abusive relationship. She lives down in Texas and is making arrangements to protect herself and her young child. She asked if she could come stay with me for a few days, but the last time she left him, he found her easily and it wasn’t pretty. The baby was fine but she wasn’t. And she went back. I had to tell her a few weeks ago, “no, you can’t come here”, because I didn’t want to put my children in danger. It was horrible.

As you may know, I have been in a few.  I don’t even try to explain how looking back from my life now, into the past, how controlled I was, how much crap I believed about myself, how much crap I believed about “how things should work” between a man and a woman. It is ridiculous.

What I did do was get in touch through a childhood lawyer friend, with another really good lawyer in Texas, who is helping her out. Without charging her. Ends up, she will probably go to some sort of shelter and go through the legal way of getting evidence and help and such. It scares me that it will be a long and tedious process for her, one that will most likely involve more violence. ALOT more violence. Until something can be done to protect her.

I hope not. But I also know how things are.

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