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Archive for June 4th, 2008

Today was the day to make guacamole.

I’m not sure why, but it was time to scoop tortilla chips through the guac in the food processor.

Swipe the side at the end of my meal with my finger.

And I ate it all.

Two avacados and a tomato’s worth.

I eat standing over the kitchen sink most nights. Sometimes it is off the kids’ plates and sometimes it’s something I snagged from the fridge. Other times I actually make a meal…but still, unless American Idol is on, I eat standing up, leaning over the kitchen sink.

Technically, we eat family dinners, the three of us. My kitchen has an island and the kids sit on one side of it and I am on the other side at the sink. We are facing each other. I can get to the fridge. I can see them and smile and talk to them. I can cook on the stove and get them the things they need.

And I can eat with them from my prime spot in the kitchen.

I don’t miss the 6:30 dinners with my “then-husband”…whether he showed up or not. On most nights he was late and that was when I started eating my meals, standing in the kitchen, alone, listening to the clock tick, the kids playing in the other room, waiting to hear his car drive in the garage.

I don’t miss it at all.

I was walking with a friend recently and we were discussing our eating habits.

Just because I can and like to cook, he thinks my habits are really really good.

And so then, I admitted that the previous three nights’ dinner, I’d had cereal and a mango, while sitting ON the kitchen counter.

Because I live “alone”, I feel I can (and do) eat icecream for dinner if I feel like it, brownies with my coffee in the mornings, and finish it all off with a run along the back shore of the island to balance things off. (does it really work that way for some people?)

And then there are the days when I find myself crouching in the doorway of the laundry room, because this is where I hang (on the back of the door) my young children’s candy that they collect from holidays and grandparents. I’ll sneak six month old candy bars and count the rolls of Smarties to see how many I can get away with eating, without them noticing.

There’s no reason for writing all of this other than the fact that I can admit to both a) what we all do at one point or another or b) what we all really really want to do.

So there you go. What kinds of things are you willing to admit?

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