Archive for July 3rd, 2008

The question of the night was “how on earth do you keep your house so neat and clean?”

My answer?

“Cause I have no kids around!”

It’s true. In the summer the girls go off for two one week vacations with Exhusband and this week has been it. It really ends up being close to ten days sometimes.

I spent the first day cleaning up the house, cleaning out some cupboards, doing laundry. And aside from my usual mess from painting and sewing, the house has stayed that way.

On the second day, I sent out an email to twenty ladies I know through the artisans cooperative and school. We are all moms and they all have husbands who can come home from work and take over with the kids so the moms can get out.

My email said this:

Subject: Ladies Drinking

Hey lady friends!
I’d like to have you over for some drinky on Tuesday, July 1st at my house at 6:30 pm. I’ll have a huge huge salad and bread and chocolate. Bring a bottle or six pack of something you like, I will have some “stuff” as well.
Infants welcome.
Where: My condo…(address inserted here)
Please let me know if you can come by the 30th!
Email or call my cell xxx-xxx-xxxx

So, last night, eighteen lady friends arrived by seven, with bottles and chocolate and two of them with their infants.

First, my British friend brought, in her purse, a huge bottle of tonic and a huge-er bottle of gin. So, we just all started with that.

An hour into it, my friend, Mel, walked up to me and said “I’d better start in on that dessert, because I think I might be a little drunk!” This was funny since we hadn’t had dinner yet. It was also funny because she was the most reserved of them all.

By 10:30, half of them had left. At midnight, the rest of us were saying goodnight. Those remaining nine, I realized ALL had three children under the age of 6. I also heard them saying how the last time they got out for a ladies night like that, was back in the nineties.

Sometimes it is nice to be a single mum and have every other weekend to myself. (or a week in this case, since the girls are on their summer vacation with their dad this week, they come back on Monday)

Sometimes it is lonely. But I realized last night that we make our own families by creating a network of friends and people we love around us.

As a side note, one of my friends who had known Steam when I was dating him, called me this afternoon and she said “How are you doing, being single? How are you feeling about it?”

And I said “actually, it is weird sometimes, but mostly, really really good.”

And her response was “Well, I have to say, for the first time in a year, I can see you “in there” again. He was sucking you dry, you know.”

I was near tears thinking how the last 8 months of being with Steam, the man I had hopes for in the beginning, were sucking me dry. And although I was going through it and seeing it, I didn’t really feel HOW bad it was until it lifted because I ended it.

I will end with the email I got today from Steam. I feel nothing about it. I feel sad, but I don’t feel wistful (and haven’t all this time) or even miss him. It just makes me feel a little sad.

His email said this:
Subject: The privet is in bloom…
“…as it was last summer at this time and it makes me think of you…it seems like last summer is a distant memory (no pun intended)…almost a dream…and that kind of saddens me…
I hope you are well and taking care of yourself…”

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