Feeds:
Posts
Comments

Archive for July 12th, 2008

Hazards

A hazard of living alone, is being stuck in a dress.

It seems my boobs have grown or my back fat got fatter or something.

Or maybe it’s my ass pushing up towards my back. (what’s better, a fat ass or back fat?)

It’s all that sitting around and drinking in the summer and eating chocolate and fringe fruit on the beach.

And then I go home alone with no one to help me un-stick my zipper.

I find myself stuck and consider two things.

1) sleeping in dress until the morning when I can get my neighbor downstairs to do it for me.

2) cut myself out of the damn dress.

****************************************

Bras are good for the most part.

They push me up.

Keep me from going down.

Keep things together.

Give a little cleavage.

Some padding for the cold days.

But going for a steady hour long walk in the summer, pushing my 5 year old in a stroller that is too small for her (but I swear, I will cram her in there as long as I can just to get a good walk with her every now and then) and wearing a bra, is just way way sweaty.

On the way home yesterday from our 4 miler, the sweaty bra kept riding up.

And then we ran into a fellow artist on the street. And I wondered if it had ridden all the way up to my neck. I finally couldn’t stand it anymore and just pulled at it to get it adjusted.

To “get myself out of an embarrassing situation”, because it was obvious that I was “adjusting myself”, I blurted out “this damn bra keeps riding up on me”.

Thankfully he laughed.

Yeah, I’m a wiz at making things less embarrassing like that. Huh.

****************************************

Since I am on the topic.

I hate wedgies.

note: yeah, I wish that were me in the photo. but I Googled “push-up bra” and got that.

Advertisements

Read Full Post »