I was walking down the cereal aisle…oh wait no…
I’ll just go right into it.
Now, I have had only a few yeast infections in my life and when I have, they are due to sitting around in the summer in a wet bathing suit. Or perhaps maybe once in highschool when I was into wearing way too tight jeans. That was the 80s, you know.
Anyway, so this time it was a bathing suit incident, so I found myself in the aisle for vaginal creams and medications.
Yes, that is what I said.
Bold. I know.
So, I am standing there, the aisle is near the pharmacy, and I am shocked at the wide variety of stuff there. It’s like the damn cereal aisle. And it’s not like you go to the counter and say “I’ve got this yeast infection, gimme that one tube that takes care of it.” And it’s not exactly like choosing between Fruit Loops and Granola.
AN ENTIRE AISLE.
So I stood there before them.
Did you know Monistat has different treatments? Yes. They have a one day one. A three day one. A seven day one. They have nighttime ones. They have combo packs.
They have different percentages in each one, of different ingredients, that I can’t pronounce.
Creams and inserts. Prefilled things. Things you fill yourself and then stick inside and then release.
Yeah. I know. Am I really writing about this?
I stood there for half an hour reading each one to figure out what the hell I needed or wanted or should have.
It was kind of stupid. It was confusing. It kind of sucked.
So I grabbed the seven day combo pack, a tube of cream to fill the inserting plastic thingy, external cream AND those awesome cooling wipes (I have newfound love for those). I figured, the more in there, the better. I want to make sure this gets wiped out. How on earth could ONE DAY get rid of something that’s been apparently growing inside me longer than just one day?
So, I happened to be shopping for this at the drugstore at 7:30 Monday morning, before picking the girls up from their dad’s house. And I figured “there will be no one else in the store at that time, I can feel comfortable buying it and slapping it down on the counter…and buying my VAGINAL CREAM!”
I managed to stand in front of the Monistat “and friends” for a long time, studying the boxes, reading it all, praying the pharmacist wouldn’t come ’round and offer assistance. Because even though I am comfortable writing about this, I am certainly not comfortable TALKING ABOUT IT TO A STRANGER.
I picked up some Blistex, a candy bar, some nail polish remover, a magazine for the beach that day, a bottle of water…you know, a few things to disguise the Monistat.
I sighed relief when I got to the counter and it was a woman waiting on me. But then this guy…this hot landscaper (I know because he was in his company t-shirt and smelled like fresh dirt) kind of pushed up next to me in a hurry to throw his money down for a pack of cigarettes…and the woman waiting on me said “You’ll have to wait until I am done ringing up this customer”…which means he stood there tapping his foot, looking from me to my stuff on the counter and back again…especially that big box of Monistat.
Drugstore.com next time?
I think yes.