Archive for August 20th, 2008

I have a friend and she and her husband had set me up with Steam over a year ago. If you read the “remember when” category, you will read about it. 

If you followed, you may remember that he was having trouble with anger and drinking. And that the final straw for me was feeling like my girls and I were in harm’s way on a boat, with him drinking so much he was a bit out of control.

The thing about his anger, which I saw when we were together, was that no matter what, he wasn’t  happy, nor was he able to let anything go. He spoke about things from his past as if it were yesterday, when in fact it was twenty years prior.  

Today she was up in my town visiting for a few days and when I was hanging out today, she told me he’d been down to visit her, way down South and had given her a painting I had given him when we were dating.

I am happy, I am happy she got a painting she always loved and happy he no longer has a painting I painted. Because as sad as his “stuff” is, he creeps me out. Did I really stay with him for almost a year?

It feels good to breathe and be free of that.

My friend went on to tell me about how he drank ten to twenty drinks every night when he was visiting her and her family. And how loud he got. And how when he first opened his mouth to start talking about me in anger, she put up her hand and said “If you are planning on talking about Stepping, don’t bother, I don’t want to hear it. She’s my friend.” 

It felt good that even without me there, she was sticking up for me.

Remember some of the emails he sent? I was getting about five a day in the end, some were angry, some were apologetic, some were poems, each line repeating the same thing over and over again, phrases like “where have you gone? I am alone now.” And things like that. It started to weird me out, as you read.

In the end, I sent him a three line email letting him know that I will not be responding and I didn’t expect anything productive to come from corresponding anymore, and could he please stop? 

So, I got another email that was slightly bi-polar but in essence, his final one. (I hoped and am glad it was, up until this point).

There were emails about bettering himself and how he was no longer drinking or eating flour or sugar and how he’s working out and things are great and grand (and it was slightly like an advertisement flier)? Well, apparently, none of that is true. The biggest thing that makes me grateful for the change I made is that she told me that every night, he went to the liquor store and stocked up on booze. And got drunk every night.

In her house. With his son, with she and her husband watching, with her three young children watching.

She was mortified. 

It makes me feel sad to hear this for many reasons.

Her parting comment before she left to go home was “I am glad you got away from that, it would have killed you.”


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