Archive for August 25th, 2008

After a great week of making and selling art, sleeping, eating lots of ice cream and Cheetos, sitting on the beach, visiting with friends, the girls come home in the morning. I am chomping at the bit to see them and hold them and smell them and talk to them. In talking to them over the course of the week, they were spending their time on a lake up north and I already know that when they come home to me, they will have grown just a little bit, be talking differently, reasoning differently, even eating differently. I know this because it happens alot. Little changes when they are away from me. Their excitement and pride in what they accomplished, making friends, the zipline, jumping from the dock, passing a float test…all add up to growth and courage and excitement.

In a week and a half, they start school. I did their shopping last week for a few things but wait until the weather actually changes before I buy them clothes. Last year, Red outgrew everything by Thanksgiving and she had barely worn the pants and sweaters. I figure I will find some deals by then too.

At any rate, the week proved to be productive and relaxing and full of insight. It is a shock to the system to go from being full time mom to “officially on vacation” from motherhood. But I did it. And I know I will do it again. 

The band that played on Thursday night was amazing. Meeting the piano man there was exciting. The next day, breakfast out was comforting. 

Sorry, that sounds so gushy but it is hard to explain how uncomplicated but interesting he is.  For once, there isn’t any drama. NO-DRAMA. I’ve seen him occasionally now for a little while in different venues, guitar lessons, which are coming along swimmingly. Breakfast out. Band nights. Piano bar nights. Mama Mia. Swimming at the cove. Walking.

And I am digging the things that are adding up to knowing him.

And the more I laugh.

There is a great familiarity I feel, in keeping it real.

It’s simple. It kind of reminds me on the other side of things, when I knew Ohio for such a short time and how closed in it all felt in such a short time. He used the word “dishonest” once, like things were being hid, and I know the feeling that was there, because I felt he hid from me at least. Yeah, it still hurts. I still hurt over that.  I understand the things like life situations and vulnerability we all share that close us in…breaking through is freedom. And it is awesome.

Saturday night, I went to the piano bar with D and Kat and the house was packed. Upon singing through the night, I found myself at 11:30 singing to a full but silent room, Elton John’s “Sacrifice”. Towards the end, as I was facing the door from the outside to the bar area of the room, two people kind of ran/stumbled through. One was this tiny drunk woman and behind her staggered in…a very familiar face…who lives half an hour away…who should it be, but Steam.

The last time I saw him there or knew him to go there, was over a year ago, and I recently wrote about it here

Fortunately, that mortifying night, my piano man was not playing. It was a substitute piano man.

So, Steam and date, enter the piano bar. Drunk and obnoxious. And in the middle of my song, I find myself face to face with him (and he stopped short and just stared at me, equally shocked, which is ridiculous, considering I was only merely a few blocks from my house, why the hell would he come all this way?)

How did I get through the rest of the song?

First, I looked down at my piano man and felt completely safe where I was.

Then I just closed my eyes and willed Steam and his date, to leave.

And then I turned around and faced the other way to finish the song.

By the time I sat down at the end of the song, he and his date staggered out, left, didn’t come back.

My greatest fear was that he would stay and make a fool of himself.

But alas, he didn’t. For this is my neighborhood. Not his. He is welcome to stay, but nobody’s gonna like it. (this is my hood!)

I let piano man know at the end of the night, what had happened.

After making sure I was okay, he looked me in the face and said “if he’d done anything obnoxious, I would have asked him to leave via the microphone, and after that, I would have stood up and made him leave.”

Regardless, it still shook me up. Having him enter that way, drunk and swaggering, with a girl in an equally compromising situation…and all I can think was “Oh girl (to the girl), you have no idea what you are in for.”

Read Full Post »