I can’t remember how much I had transferred over onto this wordpress blog, about The Chef. In case you are fairly new, I’ll tell you, I dated him for a few years when I was going through my divorce and after it was final. He was an important part of my life at the time but it was easy to move on when I realized he wasn’t going to contribute to a nurturing and close relationship filled with love and respect and honesty.
Anyway, I know Chef had my very first blog address, a few years ago. Then he searched for the second one. And as you know, I changed my url a few weeks ago to throw off local folks. In the back of my head, knowing that Chef continues to read here and there (sometimes more than others), I was thinking “oh good, he’ll stop reading”.
Well, it appears I’ve thrown off local towns-folk but the Chef, well, he’s still reading. I saw him go to the old blog and then not long after, saw him at the new blog. He obviously has gotten good at searching other blogs who link to me to find me again, knowing I will continue to read and comment on ones I read.
It’s fine, but I mean, I wonder what the point of that is? He wants to read about my life so badly? My life? After all this time? A life without him because I couldn’t handle how he lived his life and he could care less about mine, or being in mine unless he was the sole beneficiary of the time he spent here?
Anyway, it’s annoying. I have nothing to hide, but I find it super annoying. And kind of creepy.
I wish he’d let it go and go away. It feels invasive. Which is hilarious since blogging is “putting our lives out there and strangers are reading and knowing me.” That doesn’t bother me for some reason, but having Chef reading it is super annoying.
I think the worst is that I know him well enough that he’s sitting there reading and analyzing me and my life and probably analyzing J and our relationship and has all sorts of things to say to himself in his head to make himself feel better about himself. I find him to be a very very lonely person by nature, merely because he puts himself there… and it makes me feel weary for him, that he’s continuing to follow me through the blog.
Does he like what I write about J? The kids? What?
I ain’t changing the url again.
What a CREEP!!!! Hey Chef…. Get a life!
I know exactly how you feel! I have an old girlfriend who pops into my life on occasion, it is irritating.
Gross. What a creeper. I think for people who disassociate from people when they get too close, reading a blog is perfect. They can read about you and since you’re open, and they’re not, they feel like they have something over you. Especially since you’re probably right and he is smugly tearing you apart in his head. The reality is that you win because you could care less what he’s doing.
You have to wonder about someone who is unable to stop keeping tabs on someone else. It seems sad and unhealthy.
It would be WAY healthier if he would just let it go.
Just my two cents.
I know what you mean about the strangers reading being ok, but some that you know not being ok.
My friends have pestered me about joining facebook, but that scares me to death. I have at least one person from the past that I’m afraid may show up and I want none of it. And I’m certainly not putting my blog url, phone numbers or address on the info page like others do. That’s just too easy for weirdos. I contemplate taking my profile off everyday – but haven’t.
Guess Chef just can’t live without you like he thought he could.
Keep us updated.
You must be some kind of wonderful for Chef to still be popping in… too bad he didn’t realize/care back when you did. It’s over now, Chef. Move on!
I have a couple of blog friends who have had issues with people hassling them in one way or another, so when they move and let me know, I put them on my computer favorites, which is private and leave them off the blogroll, which is public. It’s my little way of protecting my friends from overly inquisitive readers, known and unknown.
You are in my favorites!
If you dumped ‘sitemeter’ you’d be free. You’d never know if the mad chef was lurking.
Oh, dear. You’ve helped me realize that I’m probably a ‘Chef,’ too. I can’t help checking in on an ex now and then (although he doesn’t keep a blog), no matter how much I may fool myself into believing that I have moved on . . .
So Chef, what are you doing right now? Are you reading this on your computer? Are you going to go eat now?
What are you doing now?
OK time to get a life. The ship has sailed….
So…Chef is lurking as we type. He’s reading your comments about how annoying his lurking is. Maybe he’ll post and let you know why he’s lurking. That would be an honest thing to do. But considering your comment about the lack of love, respect and honesty that parted the relationship, I suspect he’s maybe not an honest kinda man and wouldn’t do that.
Hm.
Truly what he’s looking for is probably to see just how miserable you are without him and how he made your life just by being there and reading your blog.
It’s a bit weird, but psychologically, fairly normal. I like the suggestion of dumping sitemeter, that way you won’t know, if you really care at this point anyway 🙂