Here’s a painting I did a few years ago. It feels fitting since today is foggy but Spring-like. Tomorrow will rain. But winter is certainly falling more behind us that in front of us.
Six and a half weeks.
That’s how much longer until we can get on with it.
I mean really.
J’s traveling for the last 6 months for work has meant that our relationship went into “love based on visits, Skype and emails”.
Otherwise, I might start resenting his being gone if he goes away again like this.
He heads to Europe on Tuesday after landing at midnight the night before, to be with us for approximately 18 hours.
I pretty much suck at ironing. I cleaned his white shirts and had his suit dry cleaned for him. I should have sent the shirts in too, but I didn’t. I sucked at the ironing part but I figure he’s got to fold them in the duffel bag and iron them when he gets there anyway…so…I may be a domestic person, but I-just-can’t-iron. (don’t want to, either).
So last night, we were talking and I looked at him and said seriously, “I don’t want to do this again. Ever.”
What I mean, is, “I don’t want to have a long distance relationship for a matter of months at a time. I just don’t.”
And he goes, “Don’t worry, I hate it. It’s never ever happening like this again.”
I’ve just applied for a big local art show that is for charity. It is juried and I saw it for the first time last June and it was so neat, I am dying to be a part of it. I sent in my application and slides and will hear by May 1. I’ve felt so uninspired lately, I almost didn’t apply. I almost blew it off. I find that despicable.
Because I have been so sick, I’ve been a little depressed. Unfortunately, in the midst of emotion and tired-ness on Skype with J the other night, I said (while crying) “I am just not excited about anything…I don’t feel good about things…”
Oh gosh, that is the WRONG thing to say while bawling your eyes out to your true love who is floating around on a boat and unable to be around for some good solid discussion.
When I said all that, I was talking about my art, being sick, isolating myself from friends because I’ve been wrapped up in some jobs this winter. I feel like other than being a mom, I should be doing something really great with my passions and feel stalled and uninspired and confused by it sometimes. That’s normal, isn’t it? I was feeling it, especially the other night..
So yikes, the next morning I woke up and emailed J and said, “Gosh, it is important for you to know that the one thing I AM excited about and inspired by, other than the kids, IS YOU!!!!”
Yeah, the night before, I left out that little bit.
Unfortunately, he had spent some time wondering what he had done. And it wasn’t even about him. We cleared that up, big time, quickly.
I’m excited about what he and I can do together in our lives, going forward. I’ve been ready for it for months and months. Since he left.
It’s gonna be good. It’s exciting. It’s exactly what I want.
Aren’t I lucky, that it’s exactly what he wants too?
He’s arriving around 1am on Monday night and we’ll wake up and get the girls to school and spend Tuesday together. Spend the afternoon after school with the girls.
Later that evening, I am driving him back to the airport.
Talk about a teaser.
Just six and a half more weeks. The final stretch. Seems minute compared to what we have already done.