I was asked by someone in an email not long ago “hey, how are things going today?”
And at that particular moment, my 4 year old was screaming in the bathtub, in her clothes.
“Why?” you ask.
Well, because in the amount of time that my 6 year old went to the bathroom, got in the bath, washed her hair, soaped, and played for about 20 minutes, I had asked Blue to get undressed and in the bath.
Over and over and over again.
But she didn’t.
So I gave her a warning. And another.
And then I stuck her in the bath in her clothes.
She was not happy. I was not happy. I am a shitty mother.
Yet, it reminds me of last year when she refused to get dressed at 8:30 am so we could walk Red to school. So, I dragged her out of the house, walked 3 blocks with her, in her socks and pajamas, to the school. We waited for the few minutes it took for Red to wait for the bell, line up, and walk into the school. And there is always a crowd there. Blue screamed the entire time at the top of her lungs. She was not happy.
BUT. BUUUUUUUUT…she never had a problem getting dressed in the morning after that.
Today there was a Halloween party at a friend’s house. Blue was invited and excited and kind of bragging to her sister (who was going to be in school) that she had a party to go to. So, we went. Things were great. Except that she refused to put pants and a shirt on underneath her Ariel costume (Little Mermaid). Now, I can understand not wanting to do that, due to the visual effect, but we have gone to three Halloween events already and it was never a problem to dress warmly under the costume.
I had brought her clothes in the car and made a move to go get them so we could layer her up.
And she started screaming “noooooooooooooooooooo!”.
So, after attempts to talk to her, soothe her, show her the warm clothes, I threw her over my shoulder (really) and said goodbye to the hostess and in front of all 15 of her preschool friends and their siblings and their mothers and the workmen across the street, I carried my four year old screaming mermaid to the car, upside down.
There, we fought about keeping her seatbelt on. Because she kept unhooking it, which made it impossible for me to drive home.
And then I threatened to call the local police to come and have a talk with her about the safety and importance and law of a seatbelt.
We made it home and the torture continued until she at last sat on my lap for approximately 90 minutes while I worked on the computer and answered emails and made some phone calls.
And here we are now, at the end of the day. My child still hasn’t eaten since breakfast, despite my making her lunch and healthy snacks. She is playing nicely with her sister.
And I wonder what is going to happen next.
You never know.
Oh wait. I hear something now….