Archive for November, 2008

He’s Off.


I’ll miss this.

He’s off for his three month gig.

I picked J up from his house up north and we drove  back down to my house yesterday morning. I made a psuedo Thanksgiving dinner and the four of us played games and hung out until it was time for the girls to go to bed.

We got in bed around 9, because for the most part, we didn’t really want to talk about missing each other or how it might be hard. But just being in bed together for a long night, felt like the only thing left to do. I was well aware of him, as I woke up every hour, next to me and I wanted to stay aware of it because it will be a little while before it happens again.

The fact that he is going south for this big gig definitely has a goodt feel to it, aside from the part about missing him. This is a part of who he is, so it ends up being a part of who we are.  That he’s a musician who will mostly be with us, but sometimes go away.

I am certainly grateful for technology, for ichat and email and skype, for us to communicate. 

I am grateful he has made it known that he expects me in December and he expects me for a week in February. And I am touched that he has made it clear that when he comes back in three months, his intention is to be around as much as he has been.

After getting him to the airport shuttle early this morning, I brought the girls to school. I’ve been doing okay, feeling a little sad, but knowing I have alot of work ahead of me the next few weeks for my business, along with the holidays. I know I can keep it in perspective and know I will feel sad sometimes and lonely on occasion. But I am heartened by the fact that we have a really really good thing going.

So, I take the girls to school and a friend of mine was standing there. And Red went right up to her and said “We just took the J to the airport shuttle and won’t see him again until March!”

So, I was doing okay until my friend started to cry for me. She got all teary and I got all teary and choked up. She goes, “Three months?” And I just nodded.

I walked in my house, wondering how I would spend the morning, with the girls in school, with J leaving town. 

And my phone rang and it was J, sitting at Starbucks at Logan, reading the paper, having checked his luggage, his keyboard and bag, and had opened the cards the girls and I had each made him.

“I feel very loved by you,” he said.

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November 25th, guest post: Brass Monkey


I’ve got it easy today. I am guest posting over at This Journey while she’s on vacation….ah vacation…

It’s a simple tale about my first trip with J to NYC and the quest for live music.

Go visit me there!

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Seven Days of sick


Being sick all week, spending time in the doctor’s office Thursday and starting some antibiotics, sleeping terrible, feeling like crap…well…so Friday, I realized when I woke up…I had a gynecologist exam. It was a scheduled exam and darnit, I was going to keep it, because why not? Why not add a half hour drive South for a fifteen minute appointment with legs spread eagled to be scraped and prodded by someone in a place on my body that is reserved just for J?

I mean, really.

Well, because Target’s on the way, of course.

I came out of there with cozy pants and sweatshirts for the kids (cozy=pants that are not jeans or without a similar waistband to jeans). After school, we were walking home and I said to the girls, “I have a surprise for you at home.” And they started to guess. “Is it candy?” No it’s nothing to eat. “Is it a toy? New Polly Pockets?” No, not a toy.

Red looks up at me as we get to the front door and smiles wide. “I KNOW! THE SURPRISE IS THAT YOU’RE HAVING A BABY!?!?!?!?”

She was just as happy to see new cozy clothes.

I also came out of Target with a humidifier for my bedroom. The girls have a great one for their room and mine is a Holmes as well, and it was only $40. This one, you actually see the moisture coming out of it into the air. No wonder I’ve been so sick. No wonder I’ve felt like my throat was being scraped by sandpaper and coughing left me dry and hurting.

The doctor suggested that I take some Benadryl when I go to bed at night. Now, coming from a Christian Science upbringing, where I had no idea how GREAT over the counter meds could be, I am still not a big fan of medication. I learned to suffer as a child (um, insert resentment here) and because it is engrained in me, I tend to suffer until I wake up and realize “I can actually do something about this.” That’s why it usually takes me an extra day or two to get to the doctor when I am sick. 

Anyway, I got me some Benadryl at Target. Along with zinc tablets and kleenex and chapstick (high maintenance cold). I’ve never taken it before, honestly. It cleared my head, suppressed my cough so I could sleep, and wow, did I sleep like a baby…after many nights of not sleeping due to phlegm, headache, coughing and congestion.

Dear Benadryl. I love you.

The girls were amazing through it all. They barely fought. They let me rest. I got snuggles and kleenex and pictures of me sick in bed. They didn’t make me try and sing them their songs at bedtime. They sang to me instead. We did tons of arts and crafts and watched movies and stayed cozy in the new cozy clothes. 

Blue’s favorite things, despite all the cool markers and pens and paints we own, are crayons. My favorite exchange with her this morning that got me in a fit of laughter and coughing, was when she held up a crayon and pointed to the wrapper and asked “What does this say right here, Mommy?”

“It says MADE IN CHINA” I said.

She smiled and said, “I’m glad you got these for us, they are special ones. Because they are made in China.”

It’s Sunday and I have officially been sick for seven days. Today is the first day that I can say I feel more on the upside. It’s taken it’s toll on me. I’ve eaten tons of food because it makes me feel better and I feel disgusting and bloated and sicky-nasty. I am happy to say my head is clear and despite being tired and achy, I just have an annoying cough that I hope is gone before I see J on Tuesday.

We have Tuesday together and Tuesday night. He flies out of town on Wednesday morning.


Oh, and I should add a postscript. Another benefit to the gyn exam is that I mentioned to the lady that I was on antibiotics. And man, is she a good doctor or what? She immediately wrote me a prescription for something I can’t pronounce that will assist me in the event I get a predicted nasty yeast infection that can be brought on by ten days of antibiotics!

Good thing I went to that appointment.

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My teeth are floating from all the fluids I’ve been drinking and eating. My face hurts. My lungs hurt. My teeth hurt. Everything hurts and feels phlegm-y and icky.

This is me, sick.

Day 4.

I wouldn’t let J talk to me on ichat, because I look so scary. Last night, I let him, but kept the light low.


After three days basically in bed watching television and eating everything in sight (starve a fever, feed a cold) I have way way way overfed my cold. 5 pounds at least.

I had some cough medicine from last spring that hadn’t expired yet and it has helped me not cough my brains out for a few nights, and sleep well, but last night I woke up at 3am with completely soaked clothes and sheets and choking/coughing. It was kind of scary, unable to get my breath or get a handle on the coughing. I ran down and started the shower and it gave me some relief, as did the inhaler I always have for “the tail end of colds” that seem to bring on asthmatic symptoms.

Oh my GAWD I haven’t felt so horrible since I had Pneumonia a few years ago.  I am also tired of sitting around at home all week.

So, this morning, before my doctor’s appointment, I started cleaning out my kitchen cupboards. Seriously. I am hacking away and snuffling and aching, and I pull out all the pots and pans and clean the cupboards and organized them all back in again. 

I needed SOMETHING to feel good.

Here are some photos of the process.

I’m f’n good, eh? For being sick?




okay, the one above is sideways, but I am sick and can’t think of how to rotate the damn image.




Turns out, I have a sinus infection. I got me some meds, a new inhaler, and a movie. I spent the rest of the day, before picking the girls up from school, in bed with soup (I am sick of soup), toast, orange juice, a dose of meds and “Forgetting Sarah Marshall”. 

I was grateful for my Netflix arriving, because darnit, I was tired of watching the Tivo of all things.

I watched the whole season, up until this week of “The Mentalist”. Four episodes of “Life”. Five episodes of “Without a Trace”. And two “Project Runways”. I even watched some of “Housewives of Atlanta”. Personally, I find it too dramatic, but when you are sitting around on your ass all day with no other drama going on in your life, a little “Housewives” can actually be interesting. Or at least get ya laughing.

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I love this. I got it from Noted and Blogged.

1. A hired house cleaner. I prefer cleaning my own house.
2. Birds. The totally creep me out. All birds. Even pet birds. And mostly birds like Pigeons and Seagulls, if they get too close.
3. I don’t like the sound of the Beatles. I like their songs, but only if they aren’t singing them.
4. Having my kids sleep in my bed with me. I-just-can’t-sleep through that. SO not restful.
5. Eating crab. What a pain in the ass. I always need another meal after eating crab.
6. Going to parties. Crowds give me anxiety. Unless I am giving the party.
7. Ice in my water. It totally gets in the way. I like the drink cold. But no ice.
8. Thanksgiving Food. I don’t get terribly excited about it.
9. Sleeping in. I feel like I missed a part of the day. Unless of course, I’ve been up til 2.
10. Being asked out on a date (by someone other than J of course). Talk about being put on the spot. All that lingering innuendo of “I like you enough to ask you on a date, this is awkward, will you say yes?” sort of thing. Ugh.

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I had an art reception on Thursday night and J came down from the north to hang out and help me out with the girls. Since the only babysitter I have ever hired to watch my kids, ended up being a DRUG DEALER (seriously, this was a few years ago, and a woman at swimming lessons used to work with the babysitter I used once and panicked when I told her how great she was and she goes, “DON’T EVER HIRE HER AGAIN!”

Anyway, having J across the street giving the girls pizza and then bringing them over to hang out and have reception food and all that, the time was over quickly for all of us and I walked home with some great cash in my pocket.

Friday was Blue’s 6th birthday. Amidst a week of Spooky Man, police, art reception, doctor appointments, taking down a show that is an hour away, AND Blue’s birthday, I had my work cut out for me. It didn’t help that we had no school on Tuesday. Because Tuesday was our day off in pajamas, and then we took a drive to the (gasp) mall for lunch at Rainforest Cafe, per Blue’s request (in place of an actual birthday party with her class, which I refuse to do every year).

Little did I know, Veteran’s Day IS NOT THE DAY TO GO TO THE MALL.

It was packed with people. We parked a mile away. At 1:30 pm, there was a two hour wait for a table at Rainforest Cafe.

I was smart though, we ran a few errands and went back 45 minutes later and lo and behold, we got a table. (not understanding Rainforest Cafe logic THERE).

The food bites.

Thursday I baked Blue’s cookies for school and then a cake for Friday after school, her actual birthday. J was joining us for the final hour of cake and opening presents and then I threw them in the car to take them to their dad’s for the weekend.

Oh, did I mention that in the midst of this, it not only rained but I also had my windshield replaced?

After dropping the girls off at their dad’s, I followed J North to his place for the weekend.

There, we sat in bed and watched movies, worked on our laptops, ate comfort food, drank wine.

This was my last weekend with him before he goes away to play, down south. As in, over a bit of ocean “south”.

I’ll see him in the next week, he’ll come see the girls and me before he flies out of Boston. His first night playing down there is Thanksgiving. I will see him exactly one month later. And then say goodbye again for another six weeks.

“A little blip in time,” he says.

Over the weekend, his sister asked him how he felt about this big long gig. And he grabbed my hand tighter and looked over at me and said, “I have mixed feelings.”

So, to say I’ll miss him, is an understatement. To say I feel reassured by the strength of our relationship, these few months later, is solid. To say that we share the same sentiments about each other, is accurate.

To say I completely support his going, because this gig is BIG. Financially, it is big. Professionally, it is big. To challenge him, it is big. If I didn’t care about him the way I do, if I weren’t reassured by his coming back, I would sit here and fuss and be mad and feel abandoned. 

But I don’t.

I would SO not be a good partner if I put that on him. Plus, I don’t feel it, which is a benefit to both of us.

I gave him a going away gift. Close your ears if you aren’t willing to hear dirty dialog, because this is what happened:

Me: I have a going away present for you.

J: Are you going to lick me all over?

M: Yes, but not just that.

J: Are you going to do that…you know…..

M: Yes, but not just that.

He loved the pocket watch I bought for him. I searched for the right one for a long long time. His cell phone won’t work (he uses it for his clock) down there, nor does he wear a watch on his wrist.

M: I got you this for you to take with you.

After opening it and looking at it and thanking me softly, he practiced opening and closing it the way the watch seller showed me to do it, so as to not break down the clasp.

And then he murmured, “I always wanted a pocket watch. I love that you gave me this.”

The inscription, I am going to keep private.

(I am writing this while I am gasping for breath, I returned home with a horrible horrible cold. LAST weekend, I was sick, but it was mild and over in a day or so. Now, I am coughing, sneezing, stuffy, horribly miserably, gack. SO not sexy)

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ichat cat

I was on ichat the other night with J and he “took me into the bathroom” with him.

I took some snapshots.

His cat likes hanging out in the bathroom and drinking from the sink.

And likes to watch when the toilet is being put to use. (that’s J’s belt, not his thang)

His cat like to watch the toilet flush.

I’m in love with a cat man.

Oh my goodness.

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